Self Reflection Part II: I Started The New Year Fifteen Pounds Lighter

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Happy New Year everyone! I hope you are feeling optimistic and ready to go after everything you want and deserve this year. I definitely am. I know it’s been a minute since I have written a blog post. I guess it’s because I haven’t been inspired to show vulnerability the past couple of months. But after releasing energy that was no longer serving me, it finally feels like I have a peace of mind. That being said now was the perfect time to fill you all in why I went MIA.

Los Angeles, CA

Post Covid I received the opportunity to go to LA to cover Reebok’s Women in Film event. The event was held during Oscar’s weekend in collaboration with Ava DuVernay’s media company and film collective, ARRAY. I have always wanted to work with a major brand and take things in my career to the next level so this was the opportunity of a lifetime. It’s a feeling I will never forget and a feeling I cannot wait to experience again. Although I felt like I was on cloud nine, I realized I was still unhappy. It was like I knew why, but I couldn’t come to terms with what was causing me to feel defeated. The pandemic definitely contributed to how I was feeling, but it was so much more than that.

Every day I would wake up feeling uninspired and frustrated. I was depressed. I kept looking for any and everything to make me feel better, but when nothing did I realized it was me. I was very unhappy with myself. I never had a problem making time for myself and doing things to make me happy, but I noticed that I wasn’t doing either as much anymore. Instead I was putting that energy into a ton of irrelevant things. I spent a lot of time stressing out over things I could not control instead of focusing on what I could. This is when the lightbulb went off in my head and made me realize it was time to get back in my bag. I was never satisfied with anything I did and continuously thought I wasn’t good enough and that I could be doing better in all areas of my life. I knew this person that I was becoming wasn’t me so it was time for a serious change.

From 196 (Left) to 181 (Right)

There comes a point in life when we have to realize that what we are not changing, we are choosing. I’ll be honest, in the beginning I relied heavily on my comfort zone and had no problem hiding out there. I had no desire to try anything new and take accountability for the bad habits that I created. I had no one to blame but myself. Eventually, enough was enough. I started my self-love journey by deciding to fully commit to changing my lifestyle and start putting in the work to live the life I always wanted. I switched up my food choices, which was tough because I absolutely love Chic Fil A. It’s definitely a guilty pleasure of mine as well as a ton of other unhealthy foods. I made sure to give my all to each every and workout. I even started to appreciate meditating and journaling. Releasing my thoughts and letting off some steam was just what I needed to help me get back to myself and understand why I was experiencing these feelings.

Wynwood Walls – Miami, FL

Before I knew it, I was fifteen pounds lighter. I say this with the intention to encourage you to get in your bag and stay in it forever. Nothing can make you happy if you are not truly happy with yourself. Happiness comes from within and when you genuinely love yourself you will exude positive energy. I am not saying losing weight will solve all of your problems, but it definitely made me feel good. It made me stop being so hard on myself and doubting my capabilities. My weight and how I felt about myself was a reflection of the things that I was holding on to that no longer served me. I was carrying a lot and desired an outlet to help shift and release that energy. I encourage you all to do the same. Let go of what no longer serves you and concerns you. Who needs extra baggage these days? Unless its extra bags of money! You feel me?

I will be spilling the tea on the exact steps that I took to help get me here very soon! So be sure to look out for that post. In the meantime, always remember you can rise up from anything. You can completely recreate yourself. Nothing is permanent. You are not stuck. You have choices. You can think new thoughts. You can learn something new and create new habits. All that matters is that you decide today and never look back. You are alive. You are well. You are blessed and you are beautiful! Celebrate that and never forget that. Continue to stay safe and be well.

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